The Accounts

The Official Student Publication of University of the Philippines- College of Management, Iloilo City

ARCANA… The Secret Gathering

by Ultraman

Yogs!! Secret to haw? Bal-an man guro sa tanan no? Darkness… torches were lit, two for each house, fire blazing feebly. An Indian-like abode at the center where a man was hiding, shifting the lights to correspond to the “fates” of the chosen ones (mahal ang bayad niya sini).
As the houses went in one by one, the auditorium was filled with an exhilarating noise; the seats were then filled by ardent people, cheering-until their throats were slit open-for their respective houses. In the darkness were U.F.O’s: unidentified floating objects, glowing in different colors (itomon lang guro ang nagsuksok, bwahaha… no offense).
Then a clairvoyant, commonly known as a Madam Auring wanna-be came in, holding a candle with her two hands (gwapa-gwapa lang siya kay madam auring), walking mystically towards the center, she will make the illusion seem real. Groups of freshmen were subsequently let in, and names were called, one by one. The first naive one walked towards the center, clueless, trying to hide his bizarre regards towards the frantic people surrounding him (indi na bala pag-itago, obvious man). A colour flashed and the name of his house was called. The naive was misled by some goons, snatched by some shoplifters as if a lipstick or a spray bottle on a rack; he was deluded, tossed from one hand to another but at last he was retrieved by his group, and the battle was won! Hurray! (tsk, tsk pang Iliad level bah, pirde si Homer ay!)
The naives were enlightened, with their rawness first abused- huo eh, ginpaluhod kamo, ginpakaptan ang crystal ball s’inyo… avenge freshies, avenge! Ara ko lista di, ginsulat ko guid mo! Though nagkadlaw man ko to, i’m on your side, ara to crush ko gin-“molest” man nila!
After everyone was sorted, wait…wait… ma-comment lang ko. Ngaa may picture to sila isa-isa man? Sa amu time wala? May crush guro to ang officers ay! Hayyy, uy pwede ko kapangayo sang picture ni_________.
Well, anyways, as I was saying, after the sorting everybody settled for a buffet (Indi na lang magpalag ah! Basta nagkaon man kita to) And when everyone was full; nabusog guid ko sa tatlo ka cake… macaroons gale! Anum to gin-kaon ko, may nakita ko isa ka pack, tapos sa tall tales may nangita sang macaroons niya. Teh, too late na… the macaroons were already digested, iluwa ko pah? Pati ah, indi to ako… nagpa-ako-ako lang ko…
The series of competitions were started; there were the house models and their impressive interpretations (ginpaminsaran guid to nila bah! Halata). The emotional part however, was the tall tales where two representatives from the four houses let out their immense intelligence (tikal). Personalay eh, tanan ka-ugot, hinanakit ginpagwa, kinadlaw lang to pero sa tuod ginsakitan… hooohhhh…. indi na ahh… mahipos nako kay basi indi ko na makita ang rising sun. May naghambal pa to na daw agi ang mga baye sa isa ka house. Sakit-sakit bah… Pati mga prefect ginpahuy-an, waay gid ya patawad. Ka bloody guid ya sa tall tales, thank Athena for giving them what little wisdom they will need para manuya. Tapos ang sa house symbol, shet! Kita mo lang tama guid ka-creative, may ara pa blue rose na nakapatong sa hourglass, beyond imagination guid ya, pero indi ba dapat chalice to, ano gale ang chalice man? May one thing in common ang mga symbols, tanan sila may lightning effects except sa rose, so in energy-saving terms, daog ang rose!
This epic doesn’t end here; I’m pretty resolute in my goal of besting Homer. So at the height sang sinadya was an unfortunate event, nagbaha gale to sa Jaro? Kag gasaka pa ang tubig. Ka-encompassing sang acquaintance, apil to sa general plan haw? In effect, the songs composed by each house were instead performed for entertainment to ease out tension. For a while people were panicky but then everything in the context of the acquaintance party turned out fine. Everybody was safe. The epic ended with picture-takings (gabagyo man o gabaha basta picture-picture wala absent). May part two pa ni next year ha, that is kung retained pa ko. Retain, retain, retain!!

Filed under: Back to the Bluebook

The Last of Great Rock Stars

by “kuris kag pintok”

Wanna be a rock star?

So, turn up the spotlights, flip on the loud background music and sharpen your black eyeliner and readied yourself to be in the center stage for another gut busting rock, rock performance.

You have to be warned, though, because unfortunately few people have conquered the rock scene. But worry no more because finally, there’s hope.

Junior Executive Society Incorporated (JES Inc.) had gathered the rockers and feeling rockers to massive attack of black fingernails and black eye lines to a long, long night of noisy partying.

It would be matter of 36.2 seconds before your head will be bangin’, your shoulder’s boppin’ and stomach’s churning to this insanely rock fest.

But wait, where is the party? Is this a party? Why there are no paparazzi? (Hehe) Well, for a moment, I thought I am attending a birthday party. My eyes turned yellow because I’m seeing green, green grass, nostalgic because of the scintillating miniscule asteroid (twinkling stars); open by?; shocked by the stage’s size. I am really expecting waiters to serve me drinks. But well! Bar ni haw? But then I was lost amidst the blacks. Relief flooded me! I’ve come to the right venue after all.

The drums came rolling, or is it my stomach? Why the foods haven’t been served yet? (As in kadugay gid ya) And the music wouldn’t help either. They are playing “senti” melodies, adding up to my suffering. (Exagge ah!) Ah ok, maybe my stomach’s having also its own party. We’re craving for food. Yow!

Goodness gracious! After long, long time fixing the system for the right vibrations called sound to be acceptable to the ear, (Sus! Guba! Kaluoy lang ayawan singgit) the program started. Grabe! Daw maguba ang stage sa sobra nga excitement sang tanan. Sadya-sadya gd yah! Pero, infairness, grabe ang competition sang mga batches. Management students have once proven their filmmaking expertise (Daw ano gd bala kuno hw?) in making the batch video, and creative prowess in making name tags (Hai, gabaha electric guitars, mind you). The much applauded MTV-Like is so, so over!!! Nag-enjoy ang mga rockers head bang. I don’t know kung na-enjoy man nila ang stiff neck. Ok, ok, the finale. The modeling. Sigh, the outfits’ rock! It had brought Calvin Klein shame on his name.

The event was a success despite the sound system of a down, the constant complains (Aguy!) and the unending apologies from the officers. But at the end of the event, when tiredness had its toll, one would ask himself, is it worthy to be a rock star?

Filed under: Back to the Bluebook

In Question: MS Acquaintance Parties

Mayo nga adlaw o gab-e sa mga tagabasa. Ano tani ang maalagad ko sa inyo? Ang chismis sa acquaintance? Aw sos, it’s my pleasure to tell you. Pero before we jump on that, balikan ta anay ang natabo sang nagliligad nga mga tinuig. Ano abi kay wala tamon naka publish issue last year due to some academic demands. Our purpose of going back is to compare events and to know whether, nagmayo ukon naglala ang sitwasyon. So without further a do, ito ang mga naganap noong mga nakaraang MS Acquaintance Parties.

The Sorting Juice Drink Boxes ( ACQUINTANCE PARTY 06 )

Price, people, place, product and promotion…

Huh?! Ano tana ran?

OMG, you don’t alam what these are? Palihog lang da ah… Daw you’re like many of the Marketing people man. These words are related to their field pero wala tanda kama-an kun ano ang mga di-a. Ay, patawaron sanda.

Anyways, these are the 5 most important P’s to consider in the business world. Mga upperclass men bala kama-an tanda karan. Ina lang kung gapamati man tanda kay sir i.

BTW, you might wonder why im tellin’ you these. Well.. welll..well… concern lang ang lola niyo mga inday, nene, nonoy kag toto (those who were not mentioned, labot ko sa inyo yah..) Your, lola just wanted nga mabuhinan… mabuhinan ang mga clueless in this spinning whole wide world. Hek… hek.. hek… Oy don’t raise you brow like that,.. I know what that means… hek.. hek.. hek.. Oo na, joke lang to ah. Iskolars ng Bayan, clueless? Damn, what’s the point of studying our ass off, then? Mga brilliant ta ya!

Anyways, im tellin’ you these stuffs because Magnates’ 1st semester for the academic year 2006-2007 begun with this 5 P’s. It was in the Marketing General Assembly sang nagsugod ang tanan. Marketing students gathered in the Auditorium. Then, ginsort kami. It was like the sorting thing in the ever talked about Harry Potter movie. Ato balas a part nga there was a magical Sorting Hat tapos who assigned the freshies of Hogwarts as to what house they were in… kung sa Slytherin, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw man bala (gapabalo lang ko ya nga im an avid fan of Harry Potter, labot nyo ya? Kamo gasulat haw?) Galing the one use in sorting us ya, instead of a hat, they used covered boxes of Plus juice drink. Wala abi magic, este budget ang M.S. so ang mga boxes ang napagtripan. And instead of Slytherin, Gryffindor bla bla, Place, Promotion, Price, People and Product ang mga houses namon ya.then damo murmurs, basi kuno maghambal ang iban nga course nga, we’re nothing but a second rate trying hard copy-cats, hoy hindi kaya?! As what was explained in the assembly, Marketing people were the ones who first came up with the thought and planned but due to some circumstances, wala naimpliment dayon. And the other course did.

Then after the sorting, amo na to eh.. the end. But few days after, it was the acquaintance party na. WOW, bongacious… nagmukhang may exhibit sa Audi. This ,party was called the Battle of the MQC’s. It was a party same time a competition between the 5 groups. But before the program proper actually started there was a sorting na naman, this time for the freshies (BTW, ang una nga sorting gali, para to ya sa mga mal-am, upperclass ba.. wala pa ang mga freshies) Pagkatapos, well, nagdinner anay. Ay sos, patawaron naman sila. Ano to nga panyapon man? 1 cup of rice, sliced and mixed sayote, greenpeas, and sweetcorn as side dish tapos ang main menu fried chicken nga just a little bit bigger than bato ni Darna.Pero sige lang, at least may ara ah.

After the dinner it was the competition proper. May fashion show. BTW, each 5 groups were assigned a motif. May rock, classical, folk kag kung anu-ano pa. There was also a pagandahan ng booth according to motif. There were singing, dancing, shouting, laughing, and everything even loving-loving. Nagsilitawan ang mga love birds sa surrounding.. ay, daw maguyuman ron tanda….

Anyways, since it was a competition, after all the participants have showcased there talents, the winners were announced. And the MQC of Price headed by Manong Roy was declared the over-all winner. Aside from the goodies which were given to them, they’ve also earned some points(pareho man gihapon sa Harry Potter ah) And they lived happily ever after… the end.


Wow! Achievement? ( ACQUINTANCE PARTY 07 )

Sa halos duha ka bulan nga nagligad sugod sang nag umpisa ang klase, daw damo na guid sang mga hitabo. May mayad kag indi mayad. May sinadya, kasubo, ilinaway, sabtanay, duklanay kag guyuray. Well, ano pa bi expectaron mo sa planeta nga full of chaos? Pero sa likod sang tanan, party people as they are, nahimo man gihapon sang mga taga MS magsinadya. Ina paagi sa paghiwat sang ginatawag nila nga acquintance. Ang pamangkot galing, nasadyahan man guid bala ang tanan?

Sang Hulyo diseotso milnyubesyentosnubentaysyete, mga alas kwatro sa hapon, nagsugod ang tanan sa Audi. Ika nga, early bird catches more worms. That’s why, 4pm palang damo na nagparegister, because of the extra rice incentive given to the first 50 people who can register themselves early. And this promo was brought to you by, Mang Inasal, Kumbensing! Abi sang MS successful ro guid tanda in urging student to come early, pero <evil laugh> tanda ang naintu-an. Kay man, damo nagparegister tapos nagpuli o naglagaw anay. Wala pulos. Passed 6 man gihapon nagsugod! Nanu man? Can’t you do better than that?

Pero ayus ang sorting thing ha. Instead of the usual juice drink boxes, wow at least balloon na. Bali ang balloon may sulod nga a little piece of paper with the name of the MQC. The Freshies will pick one tapos palukpon nila. And then lawagon ang paper tapos kadto na sila sa respective MQC nila. Galing naggamo. As a result, uneven ang distribution sang mga tawo for each MQC. Ang iban may 18 ka freshies while others have 8. Wow, palpak naman!

And then there’s the competition part again. This time, although medyo magamo man gihapon, at least may na.learn ang mga tawo nga nag-attend noh. Each MQC was given the criteria few days ahead of the event. Take note, as in FEW DAYS. And to consider that we still have to think of the design for our product, make a marketing plan for it, apply the design using scarce resources, have someone to model it, explain the design in front of all and there’s this revalida thing wherein you should defend you design. These things in the real world are done in weeks or in months by expert people ha, pero amon ya few days lang. Challenge di ba? Achievement! Galing super kapoy naman in part of the heads and of course his or her members as well. Was it that we were supposedly enjoying the night meeting new acquaintances like the freshies? However, sa natabo, ara kami ya sa Audi tensed because of the competition and tired because of the preparation done before the event. Pero ayus lang na ah, we’ve learn a lot about marketing. Though mas, ayus pa guid tani kung lawig ang preparation noh, mas nami pa gid tani guwa sang tanan. Kag wala man tani ang iban kag nag amat amat guwa sa audi in the middle of the presentation noh? Mga wala batasan! Well, kung sa bagay we can’t blame them, they maybe were so tired.

Then came the announcement of winners. Plus points sa mga nagdaog <kuno?>. In general, mayo man ang tanan ah. At least we’re given the chance to be proud of ourselves by successfully doing those stuffs despite the time constraint. We’ve enjoy man kahit papano. Ambot lang sa iban nga timprano pa nagpuli. Pero bitin guid ya. We could have enjoyed more if things were done more properly. Let’s hope for a better one next time.


MS goes Tribal! ( ACQUINTANCE PARTY 08 )

Ti, sortinganay na lang gid taton tudtod sa katudtuban? Huod, nag.sort umangod tanda. During the General Assembly nga gintawag “Signos”, baw ato, gin.bag.o naman ang groupings sang bilog nga Marketing. Pero in fairness to manong Paul, parang pinag.isipan na ngayon ang lahat. Medyo may taste na ang MS. Instead of the usual 5P’s, aba, apat na tribes na ngayon! San ka pa?!..  The tribes are the Proctud, the Alpec, the Cepri and the Morponitus. Kung anu ang mga ini, well, basaha nyo lng sa history courtesy of mang tomas. We want it to be published, pero under negotiations pa.

Then, there came the acquaintance party. Well, as usual, sinimulan ng walang kamatayang registration. Tapos nagsermon ang mga professors. Then, the most awaited part of all, ang chibug!! Aba, daw mangaranon tulad ang MS. Daw mayad haw? Imagine, luwas sang kan.on partnered with darwa ka stick sang BBQ, may panghimagas pa. Kag luwas sang pinakasosyalang Silvanas, nakz may soft drinks pa. oh dba, dba?! At hindi pa naubusan ng pakwela itong organisasyon pinakamamahal nga mga taong mahilig magbenta. Humirit pa! Nagpaguwa pa gid sang ending sang LOBO ya! Yes, you heard it right , este you read it right.- ending sang teleseryeng LOBO. Wow hanep, groundbreaking ang mga eksena! Chorus reactions from the audience sabay tulo laway. Pero sa kabila ng lahat, may mga nagtatanong… kinahanglan gid ya may Lobo? Indi gid ya malikawan ang pagminanol sang mga taga MS? Patay na patay gid kamo kay papa piolo and angel locsin haw?

Then after the madudugong huling tagpo, the usual program proper na. Again, showcase of talent, from dancing, singing, cheering, yelling, hanggang etchus na modeling. All in one event. Baskog! Kung wala lang tani daw nagsala galore ang tanan. Medyo gamo ang program, in fairness to the organizers. Uswag!

Pero kung sumahon ang tanan, daw mayo man ah. For the effort, magpasalamat na lang tayo. But I hope, may igagaling pa. May we not settle for mediocrity. Bangon MS!


So ayan, 3 MS acquaintance parties in a row. You have read it, meditate on it, now it’s up to you. Ikaw na ang bahalang maghusga. Ang masasabi ko lang, GOOD LUCK. Hanggang sa muli, adios me amigos!

-by duhnamaggot

Filed under: Back to the Bluebook



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July 2020