The Accounts

The Official Student Publication of University of the Philippines- College of Management, Iloilo City

ARCANA… The Secret Gathering

by Ultraman

Yogs!! Secret to haw? Bal-an man guro sa tanan no? Darkness… torches were lit, two for each house, fire blazing feebly. An Indian-like abode at the center where a man was hiding, shifting the lights to correspond to the “fates” of the chosen ones (mahal ang bayad niya sini).
As the houses went in one by one, the auditorium was filled with an exhilarating noise; the seats were then filled by ardent people, cheering-until their throats were slit open-for their respective houses. In the darkness were U.F.O’s: unidentified floating objects, glowing in different colors (itomon lang guro ang nagsuksok, bwahaha… no offense).
Then a clairvoyant, commonly known as a Madam Auring wanna-be came in, holding a candle with her two hands (gwapa-gwapa lang siya kay madam auring), walking mystically towards the center, she will make the illusion seem real. Groups of freshmen were subsequently let in, and names were called, one by one. The first naive one walked towards the center, clueless, trying to hide his bizarre regards towards the frantic people surrounding him (indi na bala pag-itago, obvious man). A colour flashed and the name of his house was called. The naive was misled by some goons, snatched by some shoplifters as if a lipstick or a spray bottle on a rack; he was deluded, tossed from one hand to another but at last he was retrieved by his group, and the battle was won! Hurray! (tsk, tsk pang Iliad level bah, pirde si Homer ay!)
The naives were enlightened, with their rawness first abused- huo eh, ginpaluhod kamo, ginpakaptan ang crystal ball s’inyo… avenge freshies, avenge! Ara ko lista di, ginsulat ko guid mo! Though nagkadlaw man ko to, i’m on your side, ara to crush ko gin-“molest” man nila!
After everyone was sorted, wait…wait… ma-comment lang ko. Ngaa may picture to sila isa-isa man? Sa amu time wala? May crush guro to ang officers ay! Hayyy, uy pwede ko kapangayo sang picture ni_________.
Well, anyways, as I was saying, after the sorting everybody settled for a buffet (Indi na lang magpalag ah! Basta nagkaon man kita to) And when everyone was full; nabusog guid ko sa tatlo ka cake… macaroons gale! Anum to gin-kaon ko, may nakita ko isa ka pack, tapos sa tall tales may nangita sang macaroons niya. Teh, too late na… the macaroons were already digested, iluwa ko pah? Pati ah, indi to ako… nagpa-ako-ako lang ko…
The series of competitions were started; there were the house models and their impressive interpretations (ginpaminsaran guid to nila bah! Halata). The emotional part however, was the tall tales where two representatives from the four houses let out their immense intelligence (tikal). Personalay eh, tanan ka-ugot, hinanakit ginpagwa, kinadlaw lang to pero sa tuod ginsakitan… hooohhhh…. indi na ahh… mahipos nako kay basi indi ko na makita ang rising sun. May naghambal pa to na daw agi ang mga baye sa isa ka house. Sakit-sakit bah… Pati mga prefect ginpahuy-an, waay gid ya patawad. Ka bloody guid ya sa tall tales, thank Athena for giving them what little wisdom they will need para manuya. Tapos ang sa house symbol, shet! Kita mo lang tama guid ka-creative, may ara pa blue rose na nakapatong sa hourglass, beyond imagination guid ya, pero indi ba dapat chalice to, ano gale ang chalice man? May one thing in common ang mga symbols, tanan sila may lightning effects except sa rose, so in energy-saving terms, daog ang rose!
This epic doesn’t end here; I’m pretty resolute in my goal of besting Homer. So at the height sang sinadya was an unfortunate event, nagbaha gale to sa Jaro? Kag gasaka pa ang tubig. Ka-encompassing sang acquaintance, apil to sa general plan haw? In effect, the songs composed by each house were instead performed for entertainment to ease out tension. For a while people were panicky but then everything in the context of the acquaintance party turned out fine. Everybody was safe. The epic ended with picture-takings (gabagyo man o gabaha basta picture-picture wala absent). May part two pa ni next year ha, that is kung retained pa ko. Retain, retain, retain!!

Filed under: Back to the Bluebook

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July 2008
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