The Accounts

The Official Student Publication of University of the Philippines- College of Management, Iloilo City

Dugong Bughaw

by Milan

People’s love life or the lack of it is always a topic between other people whether they are engaged in an activity or when they have nothing to do. You can’t help but discuss or at least be up to date with the juicy items that are happening to people around you.

There’s a text message which reflected what people are thinking when they see a couple together. If the guy is good-looking and the girl is not, it means true love. If the girl is pretty and the guy is not, then the guy must have a great sense of humor or he must be a very persistent suitor. If both are good-looking, it’s a match made in heaven. If otherwise, then they must have had no choice. This may sound harsh and judgmental. Yet, it is the general opinion of people. I bet my enemy’s life you never imagined a future partner to be ugly. Nobody wants a partner whose face value is—er–below par.

How a potential partner looks is always an issue to the younger people. How many times have you asked someone about his/her partner if he/she is good-looking and the reply is, “He/She is nice” after hesitating for a moment. Some answer indignantly that it’s the personality that’s important. Well yes, it’s true. After all, looks are just temporary but personality lasts forever. Cliché, huh? Nevertheless it’s funny the way things are happening today. When anyone quotes a line from The Little Prince which goes “what is essential is invisible to the eye”, another person will add, “Yan ang motto ng mga pangit”. It may be comical, but it’s also mean. People are always talking about other people’s love life that the subjects concerned sometimes become too ashamed to pursue their heart’s desire for fear of criticisms.

Last semester, a friend of mine denied she has feelings for this guy. She tells us there is no way she would ever go out with him. All the while, she tells him that she loves him, too! Her other close friend always trashes the guy and discourages her. Little did that friend know that her words stung. Because of that, my friend just couldn’t admit she was in love with someone unattractive for fear that her other close friend would not talk to her. It’s better to be single than be with an unattractive boyfriend.

I used to be that way until something happened one night which I laughingly refer to as “Saturday Night Fever”. I went out with a really close friend recently. Let’s just say he’s not your dream guy: the tall and handsome guy whom you’ve always dreamed of sweeping you off your feet. Anyway, this guy has lots of female friends because of his outgoing personality and great sense of humor. So he asked me to go see a movie with him. I agreed thinking it would be great to hang out with a good friend. Much to my surprise, he got us pizza, paid for the movie (premiere!) and the cab home. He would have paid for the drinks, too if I hadn’t insisted to pay for them. Then I realized this is a date! He held my hand throughout the movie and kissed it, too. You don’t do that to a friend. He was so sweet and so funny that I realized I like-liked him. I had no thought of what others would say. I didn’t feel for him before, but when I had him, I knew I wanted to keep him. Sappy, huh? And after one date, too!

What I’m trying to comprehend is why I was willing to eat my words after one date with a guy I always saw as a friend. The truth is looks can be real petty when the heart is at stake. And listening to the negative remarks of others would get you nowhere. I say only the opinions of true friends matter. And true friends would support you with your nice boyfriend knowing that guy makes you happy. Besides, you’re the one who has to deal, hang-out, eat, dance, sing, text, call, and all other stuff couples do, not your friends. Now I don’t know if that guy friend I dated and I have a future. But it was one date that taught me the lesson to never ever say things that might compromise me in the future and that there are more important things to consider other than looks. I haven’t talked to him about that night or anything and I doubt I ever will. Let the future take care of itself. But one thing’s for sure. If he asks me out again, there is only one possible answer.

Filed under: Dugong Bughaw, Essay,

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